This page is not only an extension of my personal journey, but also a dedicated space to provide guidance and resources for those grappling with addiction and the friends and families who bear witness to that process. Wherever you are on your path to recovery or in supporting a loved one through this challenging terrain, I wish your heart the healing it deserves.
Personal note from Mimi:
My listing of these organizations/websites is not necessarily a personal endorsement of their success rates or whether or not they will help your loved one. My goal here is to help you get started with your research—or to pass the information along. My point is: THERE IS HOPE AND HELP available.
There is a long-lasting discussion about whether people can achieve sobriety if they’re “forced” into treatment. Some say the addict/alcoholic must hit some kind of bottom and want to change. Others say if they’re just willing to try, the program can “grab them” and lead them into embracing recovery. I have no idea! I’m not an expert. But if your loved one is open to learning about resources that might help, I offer this list as a place to start.
I wish you and those you love peace and good health as you embark on this challenging journey.
aa.org - The national website will be able to help visitors search for local meetings.
AA is the “gold standard” for 12-Step recovery for people who seek to live sober lives. There is a spiritual component to the program; however, that definition is derived individually from each participant, not dictated by the organization. From their website: “Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of people who come together to solve their drinking problems. It doesn’t cost anything to attend . . . There are no age or education requirements to participate. Membership is open to anyone who wants to do something about their drinking problem.
AA’s primary purpose is to help alcoholics to achieve sobriety.”
SMART is a non-religious alternative to AA. Rather than building sobriety around a Higher Power, this organization promotes the following, according to their website:
“SMART Recovery is an evidenced-informed recovery method grounded in Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), that supports people with substance dependencies or problem behaviors to:
NOTE: the SMART program seeks to support people with addictions to chemicals, as well as problematic behaviors (ex. gambling, video gaming, shopping, etc.)
NA is very similar to AA, except that it is more specifically directed to people working to overcome addiction to drugs, rather than alcohol. However, please note: BOTH AA & NA welcome people who wish to achieve sobriety for any/all chemical substances.
According to its website:
“The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) is the agency within the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) that leads public health efforts to advance the behavioral health of the nation and to improve the lives of individuals living with mental and substance use disorders, and their families.
SAMHSA’s mission is to lead public health and service delivery efforts that promote mental health, prevent substance misuse, and provide treatments and supports to foster recovery while ensuring equitable access and better outcomes.”
The website is a central touchpoint for a variety of information, from finding local resources to providing excellent educational articles. The site also includes results from many research studies about addiction and mental health issues around the U.S.
AddictionHelp.com is a unique organization. Founded by recovering addicts and board-certified addiction specialists, this team of passionate volunteers "provides reliable information about addiction and recovery to guide addicts and their loved ones to a happier, healthier life."
Their website also addresses numerous mental health disorders, because "The National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH) reports that 45% of individuals with substance use disorder also have a co-occurring mental health problem."
The site is full of educational information about the nature of addiction, and it provides numerous interactive forms to help visitors determine their treatment needs. It can also help connect viewers with possible recovery centers where they live.
Personal note from Mimi:
The following resources are a start. There are likely others out there that Google can help you find, but these are the more common ones I know of. My listing of these organizations/websites is not necessarily a personal endorsement of their success rates or whether or not they will help you.
My goal here is to help you get started with your research, and my point is: THERE IS HOPE AND HELP out there for you and your loved one—but you can really only help yourself. The magic of working on yourself, however, is that it may inspire those around you to want to change, too. And/or in changing your thinking and behavior, you may also alter the dynamic between you and your alcoholic/addict loved one. As I learned in college studying communication: It takes two people to make a pattern, but it only takes one to change it. Free advice: If you’re inclined to try a 12-step group, attend a variety of meetings in your town (or via Zoom) and see which group feels like a good fit. Each meeting is different. Also, in order to give yourself a real chance of success, I’d encourage you to attend at least three meetings before deciding it’s not for you.
I wish your heart the healing it deserves.
The national website will be able to help visitors search for local meetings. It also assists by helping people to learn about supporting loved ones who struggle with substance abuse, while staying healthy themselves. Based on the same 12-Steps that AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) uses, Al-Anon promotes a spiritual foundation for personal growth.
Additionally, Alateen is a sub-group of this organization that provides age-appropriate support for children of alcoholics/addicts, ages 13-18. Visit https://al-anon.org/newcomers/teen-corner-alateen/ for specific information on support for teenagers living with a parent’s substance abuse.
Connected to the SMART program (Self Management and Recovery Training), this family-focused spin-off centers around tangible “how-tos” that foster good mental health for family/friends of people with unhealthy relationships with alcohol, drugs, or any number of problematic behaviors (ex. gambling, video gaming, shopping, etc.) This is a non-spiritual program offering online and in-person support groups, as well as education on their website.
Similar to Al-Anon above, Nar-Anon assists family members whose loved ones live with the disease of addiction, typically to drugs rather than alcohol. However, BOTH organizations welcome family members whose loved ones battle any/all addictions to chemical substances.
Sometimes, chemical abuse stems from underlying mental health issues. It’s not uncommon for people with addictive behaviors to “self-medicate” to cope with depression, anxiety, PTSD, or undiagnosed illnesses such as Bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, or even Schizophrenia. Many family members struggle for years before their loved one is properly diagnosed, and in the meantime, they watch the ups and downs of drug/alcohol use turn into addiction. This can complicate mental health disorders and makes diagnosing and treating more difficult. NAMI support groups allow family/friends a healthy outlet for sharing daily challenges and coping skills with each other.
From their website:
“We are dedicated to improving the lives of millions of Americans affected by mental illness. We strive to create a better tomorrow—a tomorrow where all people affected by mental illness can experience hope, recovery, and wellness in a world free of stigma.”
Made with love by structure & heart studios
"Forks & Knives" was born as part of a long journal entry, a cathartic release. In 2003, despite being happily married to my second husband, insomnia visited me regularly. My brain pushed and pulled, working through hurtful and confusing memories that defined the rocky journey of my first marriage and its ultimate demise. The finished document sat inside my computer, unread, for seventeen years.
When I retired in 2021, I revisited the document, hesitantly. “Is this worth reworking into a novel? Would anyone care about this?” I asked my best friend, my husband Stephen, to read it. Bonus for me: He taught American literature for more than twenty-five years (!), so I knew I could trust his opinion. Happily, he confirmed, “Yes, it’s good. You should work on it.” Then he introduced me to Brian Kaufman (www.authorbriankaufman.com) and Penpointers, the Northern Colorado writer’s group that Stephen had belonged to years before I met him. Over the next year and a half, my self-focused monologue transformed into a work of fiction that would appeal to people outside my immediate circle of friends and family. At least that’s my hope.
Whenever I mention what this book is about, I'm invariably met with, "Yeah, my mom was a drinker," or "My son was sober for a while, but . . ." There are millions of stories like mine out there -- people who have loved/lived with alcoholics/addicts and struggled to hold on through the pain. But there are ways we can help and support those we love without losing ourselves. This novel alone can't help those still working through those dark days, but maybe some of the resources here can play a role.
